As much as we may not want to think about it, there will come a time where your child will inevitable be showing romantic interest in a classmate. We all have our own "first crush" stories, as well as dating horror stories and the like. Relationships are a natural part of life, and there isn't much we can do as parents to completely avoid it with our children. As children grow up and realize their place in the world and start taking notice of how they interact with others, they may start to develop romantic feelings for others. Navigating this young "love" and the heartbreaks that may come with it can be tough for parents, as they see how much their children are trying to grow up. 

For children and teens to have healthy relationships with each other, it's important to teach them to respect others and to look out for warning signs that they may have a dysfunctional relationship. Bulding a solid foundation of friendship is always a good idea, as healthy friendships can lay the groundwork for good relationships in the future. As a parent, it is your job to teach your children how to behave with others, and discuss with them what is healthy or not healthy. 

Much of what we see in movies or even in our friend's relationships may be unrealistic or in the worst case scenario-dangerous. Clearly explaining to your child these differences and not judging them or putting them down for their feelings about someone is a good place to start and segway into another discussion about love, relationships, etc. Many parents will humiliate their children by telling other family members or friends or making fun of their child's feelings- it may not be on purpose, but it does happen. You may think back to a time when you were a kid and your parents may have told someone about your crush and it may have embarassed you or made you feel bad that your feelings weren't being taken seriously and it may have hurt. 

 

Some tips for discussing crushes and relationships with your children are below:

 

1. Never undermine your child's feelings or make fun of them for having a crush on someone. 

2. Listen to your child and empathize with them, take them seriously.

3. Be supportive but not overbearing.

4. Let your child know that having romantic feelings is normal, but it's not appropriate to be dating or have a romantic relationship with someone until they are well into their teens and can understand better what that means. 

5. Teach your kids the importance of giving and asking for consent and respecting the other party if they don't feel the same way. If your son has a crush on a girl but she doesn't feel the same way, tell him he needs to respect that and move on. Same goes for the other way around. Let them know that obsessiveness is inappropriate and teach them to respect others even if their object of affection doesn't feel the same way. This is CRUCIAL. 

To learn more about how to navigate this part of your child's development, click here.