Some resistance to authority is normal in children. As they get older and begin to find their place in the world and learn to handle their everyday stresses in life, some misbehavior is natural.

When we’re talking about the chronically disobedient child, however, we aren’t talking about a three-year-old with occasional tantrums or a child who may not want to share their toys with other kids. Chronically disobedient means regularly balking authority or behaving in ways that consistently challenging when an adult tells them they need to do something.

When assessing if your child may be chronically disobedient, there are some things you should trouble shoot and try to find out before jumping to conclusions about a possible behavioral or other developmental condition. Examining the possible sources of this unrest, as well as it’s frequency, whether it was a sudden onset, or if things in the household may be triggering this rebellion are key to figuring out what the problem is and how to address it.

Below are some questions to ask yourself if you think your child is, or is becoming, chronically disobedient:

• Has there been a sudden change in your family or home environment that your child could be reacting to?
• Do the adults in your household treat each other with respect and have discussions instead of arguing when they disagree?
• If your child acts out at school, is it because their peers may possibly be bullying them?
• Are you consistent in your discipline and expectations of your child?
• Do you react calmly and assertively when your child acts out, or do you find yourself getting very upset as well?

Thinking about your family’s unique dynamics, communication or personality styles as well as how well the family gets along can contribute to a child who is chronically disobedient. If you’ve determined that there isn’t anything you can think of that could be causing the behavior to continue, it may be worth reaching out to your child’s pediatrician for further advice, or a behavioral counselor to determine the next steps for prevention, coping mechanisms, and treatment.

To learn more about how to best help your child, click here to read this article on Healthy Children!