As children and teens settle into the new school year, the exciting "honeymoon phase" may be wearing off and the real work beginning. With this, some children may start to experience difficulties. Parents and caregivers may consider the following to support children who are having difficulty adjusting:

1. Ask your children questions to promote problem solving. When we see our kids struggling, it's normal to want to fix it. Parents to the rescue! But, our children learn and grow the most when we help them identify and work to solve problems themselves in age-appropriate ways. If your child comes home and announces she "hates school!", don't give in to your impulse to immediately call the teacher and ask for changes. First, let your child know you hear them. "Man, fourth grade has been really tough so far! Let's talk about it." Then, find a quiet time and cozy spot to sit down and listen to your child. Start with open ended questions ("You seem really upset. What happened today?"). As your child talks about what's going on, you may ask questions to help her reflect on what is happening. Is it that she doesn't know anyone in her class? That she's anxious about the big book report the teacher announced today? Or that she doesn't understand the math work? As you talk together and narrow in on the source of her struggle, you will then both be ready to think together about who or what may help things improve. You may still want to message the teacher after that conversation, but with a much clearer idea about what is going on and how you, your child, and your teacher can work together successfully.

2. Normalize "bumps in the road" and communicate positive expectations. Change is hard. If children are having difficulty after a big change, it can help to let them know that this happens to many kids, that they can expect it to get easier with time, and that you are there to help them through it. Sometimes, parents accidentally share their fears instead of their hopes with their children. This can in turn lead kids to expect the worst for themselves and create a "self-fulfilling prophecy". The idea of "growth mindset" is relevant here (see this video for a quick summary). Let your children know that even if something is hard now, skills improve with practice and that you believe in them. This does not mean having "false positivity", and sometimes kids do need extra help to succeed. But, we help kids build resiliency by teaching them to believe in their own ability to grow and to surmount challenges.

3. Small habits can make big differences. One factor that is easy to overlook when kids struggle is the role of our daily habits and routines. If your child is struggling, you may think over the "simple" daily habits that may be impacting day-to-day success. Is your child or teen still keeping a late bedtime and then struggling to make it out the door in the morning? Are they getting time outside? Are they eating breakfast? See guidelines from the American Academy of Pediatrics to consider how your child's daily habits compare with what is recommended.

4. Ask for help. It's a good idea to communicate with your child's teacher and school about your concerns, especially if problems persist. Ongoing difficulty could be a sign that something else is going on, such as a learning, attentional, or mental health disorder, and your student may benefit from extra support. If your child already has a diagnosis (such as ADHD), you may talk with your teacher about available accommodations, interventions and resources to help them thrive. Your doctors are also here to support you; call Hendersonville Pediatrics for more information and/or to schedule an appointment.